Nearly 70% of divorces in heterosexual marriages are initiated by women, and only a small percentage of them regret their decision compared to men. While that statistic may surprise you, a closer look reveals the reasons behind it. Spoiler alert: Many of them relate to a woman’s mental health.
Gender housework gap
Despite the fact that more married women than ever are working full-time jobs — and that women now make up over half of the U.S. workforce — they still take care of the lion’s share of domestic duties. This creates significant stress as they struggle to balance their work outside the home while caring for a family and managing the household. And according to some studies, having a husband actually adds to the amount of housework in a home.
Little or no emotional connection
Women tend to be more emotionally intelligent and better communicators by nature, which means they are more likely to talk about any problems that concern them. Men may not even recognize the problems, which can leave women feeling neglected and that their needs are not being met. We’re talking about everything from spending more time with the family to assisting with household chores or being better companions. When men don’t process or express their emotions, it can open the door to conflict.
Physical and emotional violence
Tragically, a large number of marriages end due to domestic violence, and women are more often the victims by a wide margin. This can include both physical and emotional violence, although emotional abuse often precedes physical violence. In many marriages, alcohol problems can exacerbate the violence. In fact, several studies indicate that if one partner in the marriage is a heavy drinker, the marriage has a 50% greater likelihood of ending in divorce.
Unfaithfulness
Although not always the case, men are still more likely to be unfaithful to the marriage than women. While infidelity naturally damages the relationship, women vary in how much they are willing to tolerate. If the marriage is already on rocky ground when the unfaithfulness occurs, there’s a good chance the woman will be ready to move on. Keep in mind that this unfaithfulness is not always physical in nature. Even emotional cheating can be perceived as untrustworthy and grounds for ending the marriage.
Greater confidence
Marriage has changed in the decades since a woman’s mother and grandmother decided to tie the knot. Many of those women did not have the same opportunities that women have today. They may not have worked outside the home, so they were totally dependent on their husband for income. Today, however, a large number of women earn as much or more than their spouses do. With greater income, more resources, and better relationships outside the marriage, women now have other options. This makes them less willing to put up with a bad marriage.
Bottom line: Many women believe that leaving an unhappy and unhealthy marriage can improve their mental health. And in many instances, that is definitely the case. In the end, the decision is yours. Today, more women than ever are deciding to walk away from a bad marriage.
Dr. David Lowenstein is a Columbus, Ohio-based psychologist with more than 35 years of experience. He conducts individual, family, and group therapy sessions in his German Village office and also via telehealth. Dr. Lowenstein is also available for expert forensic testimony, and for educational workshops and presentations. He is frequently called upon as an expert source for print, radio, and broadcast media. Contact Dr. Lowenstein at Lowenstein & Associates, 691 South Fifth Street, Columbus, Ohio, 43206, or call 614.443.6155 or 614.444.0432.
