Most parents have heard that “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure” and it’s especially true with self-esteem in children. All children need love and appreciation and thrive on positive attention. Yet, how often do parents forget to use words of encouragement such as, “that’s right,” “wonderful,” or “good job”?Regardless of your child’s age, good parent-child communication is essential for raising children with self-esteem and confidence.

Self-esteem is an indicator of good mental health. It is how we feel about ourselves. Poor self-esteem is nothing to be blamed for, ashamed of, or embarrassed about. Some self doubt, particularly during adolescence, is normal—even healthy–but poor self-esteem should not be ignored. In some instances, it can be a symptom of a mental health disorder or emotional disturbance.

Parents can play an important role in helping their children feel better about themselves and developing greater confidence. Doing this is important because children with good self-esteem:

• Act independently
• Assume responsibility
• Take pride in their accomplishments
• Tolerate frustration
• Handle peer pressure appropriately
• Attempt new tasks and challenges
• Handle positive and negative emotions
• Offer assistance to others

Words and actions have great impact on the confidence of children, and children, including adolescents, remember the positive statements parents and caregivers say to them. Phrases such as “I like the way you…” or “You are improving at…” or “I appreciate the way you…” should be used on a daily basis. Parents also can smile, nod, wink, pat on the back, or hug a child to show attention and appreciation.

Healthy self-esteem is a child’s armor against the challenges of the world. Kids who feel good about themselves seem to have an easier time handling conflicts and resisting negative pressures. They tend to smile more readily and enjoy life. These kids are realistic and generally optimistic.

In contrast, for children who have low self-esteem, challenges can become sources of major anxiety and frustration. Children who think poorly of themselves have a hard time finding solutions to problems. If they are plagued by self-critical thoughts, such as “I’m no good” or “I can’t do anything right,” they may become passive, withdrawn, or depressed. Faced with a new challenge, their immediate response is “I can’t.”