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What Discipline Really Means – 3 Methods of Instructing Our Children

Thanks to news coverage of occurrences like the Adrian Peterson case, child discipline and corporal punishment are at the forefront of national conversation lately. To be clear, the abuse that Peterson leveled on his four-year-old son in no way fits the definition of ‘discipline.’ But as more people discuss spanking and child discipline, a consideration of different discipline styles is in order.

Many parents seem to have significant difficulties with being consistent and structured in dealing with problems in their family. In fact, widespread parental misconceptions about discipline and behavior may result in a growing number of overly aggressive, easily frustrated children.

One important misconception is that discipline is synonymous with punishment. The Latin root of the word, however, means ‘instruction’ or ‘knowledge.’ By that understanding, discipline is just a process by which adults teach children about appropriate behavior for a variety of situations. However, some discipline methods are better at achieving that goal than others. Research suggests that there are at least three discipline styles.

Power Assertive Discipline

This method of discipline involves spanking, withdrawal of privileges, and threats of punishment or physical harm. Children respond to adults’ requests out of fear, rather than respect. As a result, their motivation for appropriate behavior is external to them, and they obey to avoid being punished. However, when children find themselves in a situation where it’s unlikely they’ll get caught, they tend to engage in that inappropriate behavior.

Love Withdrawal

Love withdrawal involves such adult behavior as refusing to speak or listen to children, threats to leave them, or expressions of dislike or disappointment. In other words, giving children the cold shoulder when they behave inappropriately. As a result, children conform to expectations because they fear abandonment, or the loss of love and affection. Like power assertive discipline, love withdrawal is an external motivator for good behavior.

Induction

Induction incorporates the true nature of discipline – teaching. Adults who practice induction provide children explanations for good behavior, along with reasonable consequences for bad behavior. Because kids understand why certain actions are expected of them and others are prohibited, their motivation to obey comes from within. As a result, they are more likely to behave well even when not being watched. Children educated through induction are also more likely to understand the effects of their behavior on others, and exhibit empathy.

Research indicates that cooperation and communication are vital in adults’ interactions with children. Good caregivers clearly convey high expectations, provide reasons for expected behavior, and listen to their children’s perspectives and needs, and they remain responsive and nurturing even when mistakes happen, because they view discipline as a teaching and learning process.